Space Bound
by TakemylovedowntoVioletHill
Summary: Based off the song Space Bound by Eminem... Murdoc's point of view on all the conflicting emotions and wonders that come with love and the painful repercussions of jealously and violence. Rated M for violence and some sexual content  nothing graphic .
1. Wonder

_We touch I feel a rush, we clutch isn't much but it's enough to make me wonder what's in store for us…_

I watched her body twist around mine, like a snake and I smile to myself, leaning my head against her bare shoulder, wishing it could go on forever.

_Its lust it's torturous, you must be a sorceress 'cause you just did the impossible, gained my trust…_

I felt the knot in my stomach grow the longer we were together, the desire to have her overpowering many things, but not my respect for her. I would never hurt her. She trusted me and I tried to return the favor every chance I got.

_Don't play game's it'll be dangerous…_

I grabbed her wrist as it was tracing circles around my mouth. Narrowing my eyes at hers.

"If yer goin' teh kiss me than do it, I've got no time to beat around the bush."

_If you fuck me over, 'cause if I get burnt I'mma show you what it's like to hurt 'cause I've been treated like dirt before ya…_

I had warned her from the first day, she would regret it if she turned her back on me. I'd allowed myself to be walked on by too many women; her name didn't need to be added to the mix.

_And love is evol, spell it backwards I'll show ya…_

I was hopelessly addicted to this girl, to her every movement, to the feel of her body pressed against mine when we slept. I was losing my hardened shell, and I didn't like all the power she held, even though she never took advantage, and that made me love her all the more.

_No one knows me I'm cold, walk down this road all alone, it's no one's fault but my own, and it's the path I've chosen to go , frozen in stone I show no emotion whatsoever so…_

If they never see inside your heart, they won't know when you're hurt. I would rather convert to Catholicism than have a woman watch me cry, but here I was, crying in front of you. Tears flowing freely down my face and you do nothing but wait, and when I'm done, you kiss me and say everything's going to be all right.

_Don't ask me why I have no love for these mo'fuckin' hoes, blood-suckin' succubus's what the fuck is up with this? I tried in this department I ain't have no luck with this…_

So many bitches, so many prostitutes, so many working women… none of them worth a second glance. They obviously shared the opinion, taking the money and being gone the next morning. In my many failed attempts to woo them they'd merely stare at me coldly until the shag was done and then leave.

_It sucks but its exactly what I thought it would be like tryin' to start over, I got a hole in my heart some kind of emotional rollercoaster, something I won' go on til you toy with my emotions so it's over…_

She knew everything, what to do, how to do it, when, I was wrapped around her finger and loved to hate it. It came with her, and I couldn't let her go.

_It's like an explosion every time I hold ya, I wasn't jokin' when I told ya, you take my breath away you're a supernova…_

I could hear my breath go in leaps and bounds as I cradled her sleeping form in my lap, the TV was on but I wasn't paying any attention. I was too busy watching her, the way she smiled slightly in her sleep, her purple hair falling so artfully on her face. She was mine as well, and the thought filled me with happiness to the point it leaked out my eyes and she stirred, looking up at me with mesmerizing green orbs.

I just leaned down and kissed her.

_And I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart is the moon and I'm aiming right at you, right at you..._

She wrote song about us, about everything… I didn't want anyone else to see it, so it stayed our secret little bass and guitar ensemble.

_250,000 miles on a clear night in June and I'm aiming right at you, right at you…_


	2. The Dark Side Of Love

_I'll do whatever it takes, when I'm wit' you I get the shakes…_

My hands quivered as they lingered on her exposed back, I couldn't suppress them anymore, I wanted her so bad it was manifesting in my nervous system. I turned her around and pushed her back slowly down, kissing her all the while.

_My body aches when I ain't wit' you I have zero strength…_

I lit a cigarette, impatiently waiting for the bus that would take me back to her, my limbs were cold where she would normally warm them and my hands were empty because she was not occupying them.

_There's no limit on how far I would go, no boundaries no lengths…_

It was Valentine's day and I sat down to write her a letter telling her how I felt about her, and the only thing I could find to sum it up were only a few short sentences: I love you, Noodle. I want you, I chose you. I will do anything for you, and no matter what happens to us, I will always be here for you to talk to.

_Why do that until we get that person that we thinks' gonna be the one and once we get 'em it's never the same, you want them when they don't want you soon as they do, feelings change…_

I stirred against her, running a hand down the subtle curves of her body. She swatted my hand away "Not right now." She rolled over.

I was awoken by the feeling of butterfly kisses on my arm, I turned to see Noodle hovering hopefully, I merely shook my head and went back to sleep.

_It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate, I wasn't looking when I stumbled onto you must've been fate, but so much is at stake, what the fuck does it take? Let's cut to the chase…_

She was certainly something special, from the moment she popped out of that Fed-Ex crate, she was mine from the start. If that wasn't fate I don't know what was, I was so lost when me and Noodle first truly saw each other, she had been nineteen and it was early in the morning… she'd made me breakfast and smiled at me and I'd smiled back and just like that: a bond was formed.

_Promise me if I cave in and break and leave myself open then I won't be makin' a mistake…_

I had been opened to her, she just did it. It wasn't hard, but it wasn't easy, I felt as if layers and layers of skin were being pulled off, revealing raw pink tissue, the emotions I'd forgotten how to use.

_Chorus:[we already covered this see chpt 1!]_

_So after a year and six months, no longer me that you want, but I love you so much it hurts…_

I had noticed when her eyes would wander to 2D, how when they hugged it was a few moments longer than usual. They'd snuggle in the most sexual manner. I had been denying it because that would mean my world was committing mutiny and leaving me floating out in space, where I would suffocate. It was a stuffy summer night when she told me.

"I don't love you anymore." She whispered. I had had nothing to say, my mouth hung open and I looked at her, utterly broken. Murdoc Niccals never broke, but he shattered just then the minute those words left her mouth.

_Never mistreated you once, drop to my knees and I'm pleadin' I'm tryna stop you from leavin'…_

"Noodle," I begged, on my hands and knees. "I'll do anything! Please don't go!" tears mixed with panic and poured out of my eyes just the same. She shook her head.

"I'm sorry Muds I just can't-" her sentence stopped dead as I jumped up and put my hands around her throat.

_You won't even listen so fuck it, I'm tryna stop you from breathin', I put both hands on your throat, I sit on top of you squeezin'…_

Her cried for help were muffled by my hand as I kept her figure pinned to the ground. Her eyes were wide with fear.

"I'm sorry luv." I whisper to her, a smirk on my face, the old Murdoc had surged through, an evil malicious animal who had told her so long ago not to hurt him.

'_Til I snap your neck like a popsicle stick, no possible reason I can think of to let you walk up out this house an' let you live…_

Her struggling got more and more frail and I took my hand away from her mouth to kiss the lips while they were still warm.

I jerked my now closed fist and a small crack sounds… her eyes are glassy as her head flops unnaturally to the side.

The Murdoc that still loves her surfaces again. I sink to my knees, what have I done! I begin to cry, holding the limp form of the tiny woman that had taught me so much about life.

"I'm sorry." I cry into the body, I put her down to go get something. "I'm coming with you luv." I saw to the body lying on the cold floor.

_Tears stream down both of my cheeks, then I let you go and just cave in, 'fore I put that gun to my temple I told you this…_

I returned with a pistol I kept in the room for safety purposes, I look down at her dead green eyes, now hard and cold. I didn't even count I just said "good-bye" and pulled the trigger.

_I woulda done anything for you, to show you how much I adored you, but it's over now, too late to save our love, just promise me you'll think of me every time you look up in the sky and see a star… _

Russ found them both, Murdoc having time to crawl to Noodle's side and wrap her in his arms where he bled to death quite quickly. They were buried together…

_I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart is the moon and I'm aiming right at you, right at you_

_250,000 miles on a clear night in June and I'm so lost without you, without you._


End file.
